Where it all started
Thursday 28th Jul
I have been planning to do this for about 12 years now. The last time my hair was cut short was in 2010. Since then, I have been growing out and maintaining long hair until the time felt right to commit to the big chop. Now is that time, and here's why. Keep in mind that this is not my story to tell, but it is one that changed my young life back in 2010.
Growing up cancer is all around us - so many people in our lives are diagnosed with cancer each and every year. However, for me, there was a distinct moment in time when "cancer" began to exist in my field of vision - first grade, 2007.
This story is about Jess. Before I met her, cancer existed in my life; sure, my aunty had Ovarian Cancer, but I was six, so before I met Jess, the word had no meaning. Jess had been diagnosed with Leukaemia. Over the years, her family, together with our school, did a wonderful job educating us on the topic. I vividly remember some guest speakers explaining it all to us using puppets. They showed us several types of cells in the body, what their jobs were, and in this case, what was going wrong with those cells. Jess was special, though. In the face of all that challenged her, she was the most caring kid you would have ever met. She was a ball of light, and despite everything, you couldn't be sad around her - it was impossible. Eventually, Jess began recovering and things were looking up for her and her family but there was always a sense of worry in us all that her cancer would return.
She adored 'Hannah Montana' and 'H20 Just Add Water'. I mean, really, who didn't at that age? So, when Jess finally got her first wig, you bet it was a beautiful blonde Hannah wig. Almost every day the girls in our grade would play mermaids on our lunch breaks. We each had characters, and Jess was always Cleo. My eighth birthday party was a fancy-dress event. The birthday cake and piñata, made by my parents, were mermaid themed. And, of course, Jess came as dressed as Hannah. In that wig. I'll never forget it.
In the next year, things took a turn for the worst. The cancer came back, and it came back hard. By this time, the cancer had spread to a point that caused paralysis in one side of her body. In late June of 2010, knowing that she wouldn't make it to her 10th birthday that following January, her family threw her the biggest party you could imagine. We went to a small primary. There were 2 or 3 classes in each grade, and we all knew each other well. Throughout the years, we all had friends across all the year levels. So, when they threw her this party, the whole school body was invited. An entire water park was booked for the event, Jess had a throne to sit on, and the cast of H2O was there handing out pictures and signing autographs, but best of all, Jess had her very own H20 mermaid tail.
At one point during the party, Jess' dearest friends were invited to have a last swim with her. We lined up in two lines at the entrance of the pool, and through the two lines, like a mermaid princess, Jess was carried in on a pool bed wearing the tail. She was fiercely strong and independent. She wanted to swim. I recall her being so adamant that she could do it. Once she was in the water, it was clear that she, unfortunately, couldn't. Soon after, she was back on her float, and we could join her in the water. We swam around her and played mermaid games like always. This day is cemented in my mind as bitter-sweet in every way.
By the following week, her speech was gone too. As she lay in bed, she gestured for her mum to pray with her, and in that peaceful moment in early July of 2010, she passed.
A few days after that was the funeral. The first funeral I had been to. Jess' mum sang for her one last time. She said she sang when Jess was born, she sang at Jess' christening and her baptism, and so she would sing that day too. At that moment, tears ripped through the crowd as we saw a mum do something no mum should have to do, say goodbye to their child. Especially not goodbye so early in life. Looking back, I don't think I could imagine a funeral more catered to children. When it came time for us to walk around the coffin and pay our respects, each of Jess' friends was handed a page of stickers with which we could decorate her small pink coffin. When Jess was carried to the hearse and driven away, each of us kids got to release a small envelope of butterflies for her.
My aunt lost her battle with Ovarian Cancer 4 months after we lost Jess. In the years that passed from then ‘til now, I've seen Cancer up close many more times. And yet, I always come back to the image of that day and the pink coffin. So small - I could not comprehend that she was in there. Maybe I was just too young to really understand it.
Since then, I have always wanted to be part of the reason that a wonderful child, like Jess, could receive their "Hannah" Wig.
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Well done on not only reaching your goal but for doing it for such a worthwhile cause.